A lot of times, we accuse everyone but ourselves. We have learnt to point accusing fingers to others but not us. If only we are able to look beyond our nose, then we might just see that little actions we carry out daily, could just be the reason why we experience some ill occurrence.
Today we are looking at five major habits we do sometimes consciously or subconsciously that ends up killing our relationship with either our spouse or family. So stick with me as we dig through these killer together. At the end of the post, you should be able to pick out habits you have subtly encouraged and put an end to them to avoid break ups and family separation in the near future. The first killer we would look at is;
1. LACK OF UNDERSTANDING, SINCERITY AND TRUST
Understanding, Sincerity and Trust (UST) happens to be one of the most crucial and fundamental ingredients for a successful relationship. It appears that most times, what we see or perceive about others may eventually be wrong. Misunderstandings in any form of relationship, be it friendship, marriage or dating, is capable of ruining everything you have ever worked for. Some times, you just have to chill and reason things out logically before taking actions or jumping into conclusions. Spend time and try to understand your partner, friend or family members before you hurt them unknowingly.
Again, any form of relationship without honesty and trust is doomed for the pit, and I mean it. It can’t last. Don’t tell me you were hurt in your last relationship, so you can’t trust anybody. Naaa! stay out of relationships if you can’t trust because even till date, there is no substitute that has been found to replace ‘Trust’. One of my mentors would say, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. If you find difficult forgiving and trusting someone due to past occurrences, then you have no business going into one.
Lastly, too much lies in a system crumbles it. Where there is no honesty, there can be no trust. The golden rule is still, “Do unto others, how you would want them to do to you”. If you get pissed off when lied to, avoid lying to others too, cos they sure would hate it also.
2. KEEP YOUR PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE!!!
Avoid sharing your personal tales everywhere and with everyone, not many people care. Your gist in the public’s hand might just be a tool that could be used to hunt you down. Stay strictly away from it. Keep your stuffs to yourself, and if you must seek counsel then go to someone who you trust and look up to, someone who wont peddle your life story for a mussel of bread.
Lots of relationships and marriages have hit rock bottom because either of the people involved never learnt to keep shut. With the new wave of social media, some go as far as posting every single detail on social media all in a bid to acquire cheap fame or popularity. I mean, this is crazy. Stop it pls! Keep your stuffs to yourselves, most people don’t care.
3. LEARN TO FORGIVE AND APPRECIATE
Always learn to forgive and appreciate people, your partner, family members, friends, neighbours, colleagues and so on. It’s not easy but learn it. Unforgiveness is an enemy of your soul and can kill you before you say jack. Yeah, I get it, people do hurt us and make us regret certain actions, however, it is better to forgive than to harbour unforgiveness in your heart.
Unforgiveness is like a burden, a big baggage that keeps weighing you down. It hinders you from going far. So for your own good, learn to forgive people. It would make you free. Also another important ingredient for maintaining a great relationship, is to learn how to appreciate peoples effort no matter how little it is. Some things we take for granted are the same things some others would give their life to have or enjoy for just 2 minutes. If he buys you something, no matter how cheap or small, appreciate it, If she gets you a new shirt, appreciate her. Appreciate the little efforts your parents make for you. Appreciate that colleague or friend or sister who has gone out of her way to do something for you. This singular trait, goes a long way in helping relationships stand stronger.
4.THE DANGER OF TECHNOLOGY ESPECIALLY MOBILE PHONES
One of our greatest inventions has turned around to become our worst enemy. In this day and age where everything has now been computarized. Our mobile phones now do a whole lot in our lives that we have subconsciously allowed it to replace many things including our families and loved ones. This is an aberration and shouldn’t be so. Yes I agree that the invention of mobile phone has been of great benefits to mankind, however when something is abused, it becomes a poison.
Today, couples seat over a meal, not talking to each other, rather pressing their phones and smiling. Fathers and Mothers pressing chatting away while the children follow suit and making calls and socializing on every other social media platform except their family. This is one of the major reason for decadence in our youths because rather than seeking counsel from those who have gone ahead in life, they seek validation from the society via social media platforms. How can you blame the youths, when their parents who should be there for them are also engrossed with their mobile phones too.
Hey listen up, here is a balance to this subtopic; use your phones but don’t let it substitute the place of your loved ones. Trust me, those messages won’t disappear, those social media chat mates won’t runaway, learn to put first things first. Spend interrupted time with those you claim you love, they might not always be there every time. Memories you share together is what would linger on in your mind when you are no more together.
5. NOTHING WORKS WITHOUT GOD
This is the most important point but I kept it as the last point for a reason. See men and brethren, no matter how much you obey the first four instructions and disobey this last one, you are going nowhere. Nothing works without the one who originally created them. God is the only one with the blueprint to creation. He is the very one who instituted family and relationships.
He had the first relationship with Adam in the garden of Eden, so how can you claim to know relationship more than the one who has the blueprint for it, the one who instituted it? Commit your relationships and family to God. Start your relationship with God. Begin everything you do with God because at the end of the day, he is the only one who can give you that assurance that can never fail. Be rest assured that anything you build upon the foundations of God can never crumble or fail.
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